CD1... um, maybe?

This morning I was fairly certain today was CD1, so I made an appointment for my Lupron Evaluation to be Thursday (it can be either CD2 or CD3 and tomorrow is simply impossible for me).

But... now I'm not so sure. Not to be too graphic or anything, but hello? What the heck did you expect? You're reading a frickin' infertility blog for crying out loud! Anyway, right. Disclaimer made, so... this morning I felt certain it was CD1 and all signs pointed that way. But no sooner had I seen those signs did they all disappear.

Except, you know, the mind-numbing, debilitating cramping. I'm actually starting to wonder if that's normal. Really. Is it? Do you all get positively debilitating cramps with your cycles? Because mine are so bad I literally almost throw up from the pain. I almost can't stand up. The pain is so intense I see spots. It's unbelievable. I just find it hard to believe that this is normal.

Anyway. Aside from the cramping - everything else pretty much went away. So now I don't think today really was CD1, so I've got to count on tomorrow being CD1, or I'll have to cancel Thursday's LE. This is all very aggravating.

Today my headache was so bad and I really wanted a Coke - I knew it would taste brilliant and I also knew that little bit of caffeine would take the edge off the Lupron headache. But... I also know that the last two cycles got canceled, in part because of elevated estrogen levels, and my first cycle did not. My first cycle I didn't have a drop of Coke (not intentionally - I just didn't happen to have any). I'm certain that one Coke isn't going to make a difference, but it's a slippery slope, you know? I even called my friend, M, knower-of-all-things and asked her to talk me off the Coke Ledge. "Seriously? I wouldn't be able to resist the siren-call of the Coke," she said. "It's not going to hurt you."

"Okay," I said, "but if I get canceled because of high estrogen levels, I'm blaming you and writing an entire blog post about how it was all your fault."

But... I couldn't take the guilt of the possibility that I'd make someone feel bad by doing that... so I didn't succumb to the siren-call of the nectar of the gods. You owe me one, M. ;)