The Very Definition of Insanity

Do you know the definition of insanity? Doing the same action over and over again, expecting a different result.

Why, then, do I continue to POAS? Is it insanity? Or, as Jody suggests, simply ritual?

Truthfully, though I don't deny that I'm crazy, I don't expect a different result, so I imagine there's simply some comfort in the morning ritual, just as there is in the evening ritual of drawing up the PIO injection. At least I'm doing something.

It certainly won't change tomorrow's beta, that's for sure. But after tomorrow, there won't be anything to do for at least a few weeks. That time is interminable to me. I remember after my miscarriage in 2006 I had to wait a couple of months for my hCG to zero out, and then they still made me wait another month before starting a cycle.* That was absolutely the worst three months of TTC for me, ever.

I suppose I'll use my break this time to make random drop ins at YOFC to check and see if that mobile has been hung yet. AHEM. What do you think, J - has it been hung yet?? Don't think I've forgotten about it! I'll cut off the cookie supply if it doesn't get hung!

Just kidding. I'd never cut off the cookie supply. I'm too nice. Snickerdoodles tomorrow. They're already made.




*Note, there are no scientific studies (that I can find) that support a need for a month off after the beta bottoms out (my OB/GYN supported my theory on this) - most doctors admit that this is purely because they believe it will help a patient emotionally. However, I believe that the 2 months it took my beta to bottom out was a sufficient break. Furthermore, my completely unscientific survey with a sample size of, oh, 6 or so, showed that being forced to take an additional month break without being consulted as to whether this month was emotionally necessary was, in fact, perceived as patronizing and was more emotionally harmful than helpful.